It's only the 12th of January and I have submitted almost the same number of pitches to possible clients. For half of those pitches, I'm still waiting for answers from clients while, for the other half, I didn't get the work.
Because of those refusals, my usual prayer is, "Father, lead me to where You want me to go."
This morning, after the 6AM mass, I remained inside the church and prayed my usual prayer for God to lead me where He wants me to go.
But, this time, I felt God answered me, "Wherever you are right now, that's where I called you to go. Whatever you're doing right now, that's what I called you to do."
Then, I felt He also asked me, "How are you responding to my call?"
I realized that I'm not answering His call with excellence. After submitting a pitch or two, after writing a short post or two, I already call it a day. Everything takes me just three to four hours everyday. Then, I would just visit my Facebook news feed every now and then. (To be fair, I'm about to finish the two books I'm reading. So, maybe that's not so bad after all. But, I haven't been able to move forward with my book project and my guides.)
Yesterday, I read a passage from Didache:
"But the Good News is, even when we feel unworthy of the greatness of God’s love, which is manifested in what we pursue today — priestly ministry, family life, career or studies — the Lord respects our freedom. What matters is the quality and depth of our response to God’s call, wherever He is leading us." — Fr. Erick Santos
This is what I believe in: God gave us the freedom to live our lives. Still, He closes doors to protect us from bad things and also from being too comfortable. Looking back at the refusals I got, those were work which would have been too easy and too comfortable for me. I probably would not be able to grow as much as God wants me to grow.
He wants us to grow and to be stretched. God's will lies in the deepest, purest desire of our hearts. (Credit to Bro. Bo Sanchez for this.) God calls us wherever we are and whatever we do. He calls us to love the people around us and to shine His light wherever we are. What matters more is the quality of our response.
You may be having the same questions as I did. Where is God calling you to go? What is He calling you to do? He is calling you to where you are right now. He is calling you to do what you're doing right now. What matters more is how you're responding to His call.
Are you responding with excellence?