Subconsciously Looking for Ways to Feel Down

This past week, I found out from a very good friend that the company I was applying for a writing job in froze hiring.

I felt good because it didn’t really affect me. At first, I thought what happened had yet to sink in. But, I realized that I had just become a more positive and optimistic person.

The weird thing was I found myself forcing myself to feel bad. My mind kept on seeking negative thoughts. I was so used to being negative that I was subconsciously looking for ways to bring myself down. I thought of things like I was not good enough, I would never be good enough, I would never get a break, and I would never have another opportunity like that.

I was so used to feeling down that I was looking for ways to remain that way even when there were no valid reasons.

My negative subconscious finally succeeded. For about a day, I felt really bad and got paralyzed. I just curled up in bed, I didn’t write, and I didn’t work on things I needed to work on. I dwelt on my latest setback and cried, “Oh woe is me."

Ultimately, I went back to my old thinking that, “I will never be happy until (insert your reason here).”

In my case, I thought that I would never be happy until I landed the writing job, until I got a break, and until I became successful.

When another good friend sent me a link to an article linking success and happiness, I realized that I had to increase my level of optimism even more so I could reprogram my subconscious. It also reminded me to be happy now and success will just inevitably follow. (I really suggest you click the link and read the article. It’s worth your time.)

Yes, I have become a more positive and optimistic person. When I heard about the setback, I thought that it was God’s setup for better things. I believed that the best is yet to come. Last Sunday, I even thanked God when I realized that I was learning how to enjoy life one day, one moment at a time. 

But, being a negative person for so long, I still have a long way to go to reprogram my subconscious. But, knowing the problem is already half the battle!


P.S. Do you want to learn how to invest in the Philippine Stock Market? I came up with a free guide on how to get started and that's it. I can only teach you how to get started. My good friend who sent me the link to the happiness and success article is the owner of the popular blog, Pinoy Investor. If you want to know which stocks are hot or not and if you wish to learn more advanced techniques in investing, check out his website. It's really helpful for beginners and expert stock investors! Not to mention, he gives away lots of free stuff on his website!