“I’m not good enough.”
Yesterday, I was overcome by that thought while I was writing my next blog post and starting a new project. Then, I stopped everything I was doing and drowned myself in self-pity.
"Maybe I’m just fooling myself into thinking that I can really make it as a blogger and writer."
"Maybe this is as far as I can go."
"Maybe I’ve finally come to a dead-end."
"Will I ever be good enough?"
I prayed, read a book, and searched for some blogging ideas and drawing tips. But, I still couldn’t get myself pumped up.
But then, I used the pain to write this blog post, draw my “emotions” illustration, and at least create something meaningful out of it.
One thing I avoid doing is using my emotions as motivation for my work and my art because I want my reason for doing them to be pure. I want to do them out of purpose. I don’t want my insecurities to be the reason why I do things.
But, yesterday, the more I stopped acting, the deeper I sank into self-pity. I wanted to swim right out of it by taking action.
To destress, I purchased an online drawing course since I didn’t want to blog right away.
The second lesson was drawing mouths to express emotions. (God really has a good sense of humor.)
Then, I realized that we can use our emotions (both negative and positive) for good. We can use our emotions to jumpstart the vehicle called our dreams.
The best time to start a project is when you’re excited or pumped up. When you’re full of excitement about a project, don’t waste it. Grab a notebook and write down your plans and ideas.
The second best time to start is when there’s pain in your heart (like how I felt yesterday). You can use the pain as a motivation to get out from where you are, to make it to somewhere better.
But, you must use your emotions only as an igniter (or jump-starter). Emotions fade away. If you use it as fuel, it will eventually run out. That’s why passion should never be the main reason why you do things.
Instead, use your purpose as fuel. Unlike emotions (or feelings or passion), purpose never fades until you finally make it.
Right now, maybe you’re overcome by negative emotions or pain. Maybe you feel like you’re not good enough or you’ll never be good enough.
Don’t waste your pain. Use it to ignite your purpose.
Shall we get driving towards our dreams?