Until now, I admit that I still find it hard to deeply believe God's love as unconditional.
Deep within me, there's still a part of me that believes that I have to do good deeds in order to gain His love and His blessings.
Growing up, I felt like I always had something to prove. My identity was based on how I performed and what I achieved. How do you simply accept God's love? How do you simply accept that God loves unconditionally, that you don't have to do anything to make Him love you, that it is not by your deeds, but by His grace that He loves you? Those are hard for me to simply understand and do.
Right now, I hear mass everyday, I've been faithful with my prayer time and my appointment with Him, and I read and reflect on His word everyday. I made it my "theme" to trust Him more this year. And maybe trusting Him more means fully believing, in every part of me, that He loves me unconditionally. That all I have to do is to stay still.
One thing I know for sure is this: Everything happened for a reason. Everything that led me to this was by design. As my friend told me last Friday, "God pursues us." I have always been prayerful, but most of the time, I pray because of fear, not because of His love. I have always been seeking God. But, now, God wants me to understand that it is Him who is seeking me. And that requires a lot of trust.
How do you simply accept God's love? Maybe this is a question many of you also face. And maybe the answer is in the question: Simply accept God's love. Take away the how. Don't ask why. Just do.
And that requires trusting Him and having faith.
I shall get up and go to my father and I shall say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I no longer deserve to be called your son; treat me as you would treat one of your hired workers." So he got up and went back to his father. While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him. — Luke 15:18-20
P.S. It may require a long process to fully understand and embrace the idea that God loves us unconditionally. But, that's why we have our whole lifetime to know God more and to journey with Him.